Searching for Satellite Signal

Now that I’m on day 4 of being unemployed (for the first time in over 20 years – just thought I’d throw that out there), it’s beginning to sink in that I need to make some changes in my spending habits. I thought about getting rid of the lawn man, but he’s sort of cute and I don’t want to make him suffer too. I mean, how could he possibly survive without my $88 a month? I don’t need that on my conscience, plus it’s way too hot outside to be dealing with all that. My next big money saving idea was to stop getting a spa pedicure every two weeks. That would only save $54 a month, and there’s no way in hell I could ever do as good of a job as my little Asian girl does. Massaging your own feet not only sounds perverted, it’s impossible to relax. Then all of a sudden as I sat here in one of this summer’s worst lightning storms, it hits me! No, not the lightning – an idea. I’m going to wage a war against DirecTV. That’s right, I said it! Do you know how much money I could save each month if I didn’t have to pay for all the time that “searching for satellite signal” appears on my screen? Why should I be charged for service that I don’t receive? If they want to keep my business, they better come up with some friggen credits, take some money off my bill, give me free pay per views or even some extra channels – I don’t care! And if not, they can have back all my over priced, rented HD receivers and that big, ugly satellite dish hanging off the side of my house. DirecTV isn’t the only gig in town anymore! I will take my business elsewhere, just wait and see! Are you with me people? Man, I really need to find a job. I wonder if they’re hiring.